I wasn’t going to comment on the recent article that came out in the UK about this issue as it really doesn’t happen very often and I didn’t want to give it more press than it’s already getting. The doctors who commented and the media involved would like to make you think it’s a trend, but frankly, I don’t see it.
But, then this article came out in HuffPost and I’d like to add my 2 cents on the subject. As you can tell, I’m not a fan of it and I agree with the American Society of Reproductive Medicine, as do most doctors in this field: surrogacy should only be used when there is a medical reason. Period.
And when I say “medical reason” I do include gay individuals and couples. Medically, it is impossible for them to conceive and give birth to a child. While I have the “goods” to theoretically be able to do it, I, like them, needed a woman to carry my children. It was not going to happen for me just like it’s not going to happen for them.
Now, do I think a client or two has pushed the boundaries and could she have tried to carry her child. Probably. But, my point is this: it take a lot of work and a lot of money to find someone to carry your child. Not only the work involved, but it takes guts. You are taking a huge leap of faith that that person is going to care for your child while in her womb. You don’t live with her. You don’t see what she’s doing. Can you imagine doing that because you don’t have the time to carry your child? Or, you’re too busy at work?
Of course you can’t. Sure, pregnancy is scary, but part of the process is feeling that child grow inside you and you can’t do that if you’re not carrying your baby.
My clients’ biggest worry is how the surrogate will care for their child. Above all else, they want to do everything in their power to make sure their baby is safe. That doesn’t sound like someone who couldn’t be bothered to carry their child, now does it?
And, that’s my point. They do care – a lot.